page 150
You can feel sorry for yourself and not whine about it. Future-you will thank now-you for not giving up when you feel like it. Suffer, but don’t add to your suffering with a whole performance. Write a timetable, stick to it. “Our routes,” I’d told the children when they were small. “Bath, books, bed.” Routine first, because routine is a way to get traction, if nothing else, when all else fails or has failed: handhold, toehold, step. “It’s a question of discipline… When you’ve finished washing and dressing each morning, you must tend your planet. I’d written that out for all my children, from The Little Prince.

That’s the great thing about parenting, one of them, all the stuff I wish I’d known; I could learn it and teach it at the same time.

page 211
Even ease takes discipline is the point; you have to participate in your own life, survive enthusiastically whatever happens, or you’ll never rise again. Discipline is borrowed backbone. I’d have been sunk, drunk, gone under without it.

Discipline is the only gift you can give your future self.

page 252
You see, in this way, a child dies — your child, mine — and you think, I thought, I’ll never care about anything else again. Not really. But unbidden, other things shoulder their way into your grief, saturated world; and coincidentally, you should shoulder your way out of it. Apples roll under seats, you drink, tea, and your bladder fills. You register injustice, you feel outrage, you find yourself at a border post looking for the bathroom. You’re ridiculous and human and insufficient, but you’re back in play. Relief filled my chest, blew it open like the steel bands on an oak casket that had been snapped.

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